"I am now the most miserable person living. If what I feel were equally distributed to the whole human family, there would not be one cheerful face on Earth. Whether I shall ever be better, I cannot tell. I awfully forebode I shall not. To remain as I am is impossible. I must die or be better, it appears to me."
--Abraham Lincoln

Depression is a serious illness that affects more than 5% of American adults at any given time. It is estimated that one person in six will suffer a major depressive episode a some point in life. Depression is very costly in terms of treatment and lost time at work or school. It is a major cause of misery and human suffering. It often leads to suicide.

I have been affected by depression for over twenty years and have had several episodes of major depression. The words of Abraham Lincoln, cited above, eloquently express the despair and hopelessness of depression. Depression is so difficult to understand that people wonder how a man of Lincoln's stature and greatness could say or write those words. I have been surprised to find that many "great" people have been depressive.

People have asked me, "How can you be depressed? You have a great family. You have a great job. You have <fill in the blank>." They are right! I have all those blessings and more. Yet, the battle with depression is real. The feelings of hopelessness and despair have led me to consider suicide. At times, there seemed no other way out. 

Fortunately, treatment has been available that has proven helpful though imperfect. My latest episode has been ongoing since 1998. I've tried several anti-depressants with varying effectiveness. Wellbutrin is my current medication. It has helped control the depression. Still, there are days when I can barely climb out of bed.

I am grateful for the love and support of my wonderful wife and daughters. Verna has tried to understand and help me. It has been hard. I tell people that I am the greatest burden she has ever had to bear. She reminds me that depression is the burden, not me. I also appreciate the understanding of management and co-workers, church leaders and friends. They have all helped me make it through some valleys despair and mists of darkness. 

I have examined many of the resources available on the Internet searching for answers. The resources (web sites) listed below are a sampling of the many available. Listing these sites here is not an endorsement of the sites, merely an acknowledgement that the resources exist and may prove helpful to someone.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints recently added a website for LDS Family Services which provides counseling for church members. This site should become more valuable as time passes. Check out the counseling resources that already exist on the site.

Resources for Depression, Manic-Depression and Related Illnesses

If you find a broken link or would like to recommend another site for inclusion here, send me a note.

Why do good people suffer?

Additional Internet Mental Health Resources